Ladies - He's Not Sending You a Mixed Message, He is Giving You a Clear One

Ladies - He's Not Sending You a Mixed Message, He is Giving You a Clear One

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Expert Author Cassandra Mack
Sarah (not her real name) is on the phone with her girls for the umpteenth time in a row trying to decipher what she believes are mixed messages from the guy she's been kinda, sorta seeing. Sarah is really feeling this guy and hopes he feels the same way too, although he has never given her any indication that their once a week sex only get-togethers at her house are anything more than a friends with benefits arrangement.
Instead of Sarah reading the writing on the wall and acknowledging her situation for what it is, she has put her emotional blinders on and relies on the age-old method of decoding a guy's behavior: Telling her girls about their every interaction and encounter and asking them to shed some light on the situation.
To her girls' credit, I must say that they are truly there for her. They provide a safe haven for her to vent. But the problem with Sarah is: The guy who she's kinda, sorta seeing is not sending her mixed messages. His behavior is crystal clear: He is not as vested in her as she is in him. Or he's perfectly cool with the way things are right now. Point blank. End of story.
Sometimes when we are really feeling someone and have high hopes that this could be "The One." We fail to pay attention to what is apparently evident. We put our emotional blinders on and only see what we want to see. So if you want to save yourself a lot of unnecessary heartache and drama, don't let love, extreme like, loneliness or good sex make you blind.
You are too smart to second guess yourself or lie to yourself when the truth of a situation is apparently evident.
The bottom and top line is: If he doesn't call when he says he will, he's not sending you a mixed message. He is giving you a clear one. If he only comes around to hook up for sex knowing that you want more, then when you show any inkling of emotion tells you that he wants to keep things light. He's not sending you a mixed message. He is giving you a clear one. If he is married or in a relationship with somebody else, but comes around whenever he can squeeze you in. He's not sending you a mixed message. He is giving you a clear one. If the two of you are divorced, separated or broken up and he only comes around for a home cooked meal along with the other benefits that he's used to, then when you press him to make a decision, tells you he's not ready to come back come. He's not sending you a mixed message. He is giving you a clear one. If he tells you he loves you but continues to do things that are hurtful, neglectful, disrespectful or toxic. He's not sending you a mixed message. He is giving you a clear one.
So the question for you, is not: Why is he playing games or sending you mixed messages? The real question is: Now that you know the situation is what it is, what are you prepared to do about it?

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